The wonders of Filipino English

I must admit, having lived in Australia for nearly 15 years, I've grown out of touch with Filipino English usage. But last weekend we saw Willie Nepomuceno perform and the Filipino emcee got as acquainted again with the vernacular:

"For those of you who wish to comfort yourself, the comfort rooms are situated after the escalators..." (So people in sorrow should frequent the comfort rooms.)

"The food will be served at exactly 7pm sharp...." (It's 8pm and the main course hasn't arrived yet: Filipino time.)

"In behalf of our sponsors, I wish to thanks the following sponsors..." (Uhm, the sponsors would like to thank the sponsors.)

I need to see more Filipino shows!

-JT

Women and insurance premiums

Women generally get lower car insurance rates.

How about men who have had a sex change? Do they get the same insurance rates as women?

How about hermaphrodites? Do they get rates between that of men and women? Or do they get DOUBLE rates on account of double genitalia?

What do you think?

-JT

Germaine Greer....

Germaine Greer says Steve Irwin (RIP) is an embarrassment:

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=127478

What would Germaine write about Peter Brock (RIP):

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,20390564-29277,00.html

• He's wasting precious petrol for car racing;
• He's a home wrecker for separating from his first wife;
• He's anti-tree for hitting his car against a gum tree;

Wonder which century Germaine last had a good shower?

-JT

Heavy rains and flooding in Sydney

The Sydney Morning Herald reports:

The Roads and Traffic Authority NSW reported flooding at Victoria Road in Drummoyne, Beecroft Road in Cheltenham, The Crescent approaching Victoria Road at Rozelle and Audley Weir at the Royal National Park.

http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/deluge-hits-commuters-hard-but-not-dams/2006/09/11/1157826847972.html

I drove through Beecroft Rd. this morning in the usual Monday morning chock-a-block traffic. I have to laugh at this "flooding"; ankle deep water is NOT flooding in my book. I remember back in Makati where we used to live in the late 80's, water would go past knee deep and my "Bollocks-wagen" Beetle had to be parked at higher ground Vito Cruz ext. lest it stall in the flood. That Onyx St. would be flooded half of the year so much so that my parents would hire a tricycle just to cross the street to our place. LMAO.

When I got to the office, I see lots of plastic buckets all over the place to collect the roof leaks. Reminds me again of our tiny two-bedroom "apartment" at Onyx St. which was always leaky.

-JT
"When the rain comes, they run and hide their head...." - John Lennon

Pool and school

So Efren "Bata" Reyes won half a million dollars playing a truant's game of pool:

http://services.inq7.net/express/06/09/11/html_output/xmlhtml/20060911-20256-xml.html

Congrats!

Who says school leads you nowhere? Well, without school, "Bata" would get no school allowance. With no school allowance, he would not have been able to afford to play pool.

Speaking of pool - this married guy was "rostered" to spend time with his mistress. Unfortunately he overslept 'til the wee hours of the morning.

"Shites, its 3am and I should head for home or my wife will look for me! Quick, hon', I need some chalk," and he spreads the chalk on the legs of his pants.

When he gets home, wifey is pretty upset, "So where have you been, my man?"

"Just came back from my mistress and I overslept again."

"Bollocks! You've been playing pool with your friends again!"

-Just JT of Dural

Life is a funny journey

Hi y'all,

The cliché goes "laughter is the best medicine." Well, "laughing 'til incontinence" is like the morphine of life. Why take banned substances when laughter is legal and offers no ill side effects?

Watch this space as I go through the hilarious journey of this worldly life.

-Just JT of Dural